"..."

Last night was the father daughter dance
At school.
We got there an hour late, my sweater didn't
Match my shoes.
We ate and I drank blueberry iced tea
And socialized with Emily Pin.
We hung around with Nicole and Ana,
Crowded in the bathroom with many
Other girls for a while
And I took picutures with a bunch of
Sophomores.
When we got back, I grabbed my dad
And swayed to a few slow songs with him.
He bugged out as soon as those good dancing
Songs came on.
I danced with Emily and Ana,
With Nicole and Chrissy Rodriguez,
A little with Karrah Smith and a little with Gina.
Everyone started leaving around 9,
I soon found myself alone, no partner, just me.
I couldn't stop dancing, the music was pulsing
Through my veins.
Some announcement about a dance contest,
I looked around, trying to find someone to jive with,
And everyone had left the dance floor,
Sitting down at tables to gossip and watch,
Except those couple of happy girls with their
Cool dads who dance well.
The daughters spin to some music, beaming at their
Fathers,
And I'm just dancing like a maniac,
Moving all on my own.
At the time it felt right,
Yet, thinking back on it,
I realize how horrible I must've looked.
Dancing, matching the beat of this music with each
Individual limb,
All on my own, just trying to avoid being run over by
Mary Jo and her dad.
I was so into it, twenty minutes straight,
It's not like I could drop out of this stupid contest.
I don't know, they stopped the music.
Mrs. Perreault joked about giving me 5 extra points
In history, 10 if my dad had joined me.
My dad came up from his table, laughing, ha, ha, ha.
No one won, I was strange.
It was so weird. Had my dad been there, no one
Would have thought twice about my sanity.
Then I felt like I was dancing for somebody,
Somebody out there in the audience,
(see, I even subconsiously call the other
people there and audience)
Who was cheering me on and stuff,
But my dad was just talking to Mr. VanWart,
He saw me,
I bet they were kidding around about me up there,
But come on. No one cares.
I just did it for me, and now I feel like it wasn't
Worth it.

Both my dad last night and Martha later today
Told me they thought I was going to pass out,
Dancing the way I apparently was.
I didn't think I was going to pass out one bit.
That thought didn't cross my mind at all.
I don't know. I don't care.
Being alone can be such an uncomfortable feeling.
But I think that lack of comfort
Is something that you cast upon yourself.
I'm almost sure of it.
Currently, I'm trying to find
That fine line between when I can depend on
Myself and when I need other people's help.
It's troublesome, but I believe that I'll
Probably uncover it someday.
I think it will just take time.

I think it's socially acceptable to dance
Like that, all by your lonesome.
I think if I saw someone grooving
By themself like I was,
I'd dance with them in a
Heartbeat.

There are just one million
Too many things I don't understand
About most of the teens of this generation.

Kay, well, time to fill out forms for Scouts
And IM Sara Price.
What can I say,
I live a charmed life.

Heh,
;-P